While collecting data for an ongoing study that concerns current dating app users, I noticed there is a decline in using dating apps among Gen Z. Although Gen Z has been known to change the definition of dating and relationships by adding new terms like ‘benching’, ‘situationship’, ‘love bombing’, and many more, they are now tracing back footsteps to the traditional way of meeting individuals.
This generation has been defined as ‘digital natives’ as the largest media and internet consumers. In the past five years, the number of dating app users increased by more than 250%, with Gen Z contributing to this hike. However, as fashion changes quickly, so did the hype of dating apps. Since this population is influenced by social media and the internet, they have internalized the importance of validation, acceptance, and rejection through these platforms. On one hand, the number of views, likes, and shares can boost a person’s confidence; on the other hand, trolls and rumors can undermine this confidence, leading to poor self-esteem. Similarly, to protect themselves, Gen Z is ‘unswiping’ on dating apps as they fear rejection in the form of fewer matches than swipes.
While there are thirteen reasons (e.g. curiosity, getting over an ex, timepass, etc.) to set up a profile on a dating app, reasons for ditching these apps precipitate into one —- burnout and fatigue. The constant loop of swiping, matching and failing to connect started to mentally, emotionally and physically drain the users causing them to disengage with dating apps. Additionally, the option of ‘matching with someone better’ has increasingly led users to pull back from getting emotionally attached to one person, building on the fear of rejection. Other factors like keeping the profile up to date, increased on-screen socialization, pretentious behaviors, periodic lies and so on contribute to fatigue and burnout. Some also state that the algorithm of these dating apps is not made for the benefit of users but for the developers to earn revenue. This rejection or failure to connect also occurs due to the difference in motives for using dating apps. For instance, men were more inclined towards looking for sexual partners whereas women were focused on emotional connection. This difference in motive among the genders led to failure to connect.
In addition to fear of rejection, dating app usage has resulted in taking a toll on the mental health of the users in the form of addiction, fascination and reduced self-esteem. Furthermore, these factors have a huge consequence on their daily lives leading to decreased productivity and novelty. Insecurities have arisen due to the pressure of maintaining a profile and presenting themselves in a certain way. These insecurities manifest in the form of body image issues and eating disorders. The failure of connection and lack of matches have also made the users feel more lonely as they begin to believe that they lack the ability to connect with others or are not good enough.
Not so shockingly, as Gen Z was born and brought up by the internet, the Indian youth is turning to alternatives for dating apps, that is, Matrimonial sites! After taking the responsibility of finding ‘the one’ for themselves, Indian Gen Z is returning this responsibility to their parents. Women are uninstalling dating apps at a faster rate than men as they are becoming victims of catfishing and ghosting more often than men. Since this has been taking a toll on not only their emotional well-being but also their parents’, Indian youth are switching to matrimonial sites where they are stating their boundaries loud and clear. To some users, matrimonial sites are also playing the role of ‘arranged dating’ rather than marriage as the users want to pretend to be looking for a life partner instead of settling down for real. Along with burnout and fatigue, the users believe that dating apps lack quality people. Using matrimonial sites can give the user a sense of certainty about their intentions.
While dating apps have a feature that allows users to define their purpose (e.g. long-term relationship, hook-up, still figuring out, etc), a study comparing the motives for using Tinder and Bumble suggests that Tinder is seen as a casual dating app while Bumble is seen as a more serious dating app. Additionally, VICE interviewed individuals about their experiences on Tinder and Bumble. They preferred using Bumble over Tinder as it is safer and more user-friendly. A study on Indian youth illustrated that entertainment was a key motivation for using dating apps. Since Gen Z expresses fear of failure, commitment and rejection, this makes me wonder if shifting from dating apps to matrimonial sites is just another change in trend. Are the users trying to define their intentions or are they pretending to show certainty?
Tithi Agarwal
