To live is to suffer and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Life throws punches at us, that’s a fact and pain we feel is an universal phenomenon, yet the culture we are born in shapes how we perceive our suffering. You might be an entrepreneurial teenager in the United States who views her struggles to be overcome by personal responsibility and improving herself, on the other hand, you might as well be a diligent son in India who seeks answers to his struggles by serving his family. More than anything, such perspectives become a source of meaning and purpose for people in times of struggle and suffering.
Me vs We: From Personal Responsibility to Collective Woe
Even if cultures are all over the map when it comes to suffering, still we all end up asking the inevitable question: “why me”? Two millennia ago when Buddha brooded on the same question, he stumbled upon the answer as ‘desire’ and 'attachment’ as the root of suffering that is clinging to stuff that sets up for disappointment and suffering. On similar lines, a 1958 classic study by John Bowlby explored the intricacies of attachment in relationships concluding that the attachment patterns built around relationships in the early years of development have massive consequences on self-esteem, trust and emotional regulation throughout life. Expanding on the theme of attachment, Dr. Besser van der Kolk in his book The Body Keeps the Score explores the relationship between trauma and attachment, stating that (Spoiler alert!): “The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”
As mentioned previously, life throws punches at everyone, but the cultural corner you're in dictates how you defend or fight back. Individualistic cultures for instance the United States consider the individual as the foundation of society and focus on personal responsibility to overcome external suffering and regain control of one's life. In collectivistic Eastern societies, where the group takes precedence, suffering might be seen as a ripple affecting the entire social pond, that is: the suffering of an individual is seen as a failure on the part of the group. However eastern philosophies like Daosim locate the source of suffering within – in desires, attachments, and distorted perceptions (like attachment, aversion, and delusion in Buddhism). Yet, intricate variations can be seen within these cultures as well. Although many devoted Christians view suffering as a test of faith, hardened Stoics perceive it as needless and to be avoided like eating together popcorn and ketchup. An overworked office worker in New York may choose to relieve stress with the meditation app on her phone, while a hardworking student in Tokyo bows to a local shrine. In contrast to Western practices aimed at personal development, collectivistic cultures might emphasize seeking support from family and community rituals to address suffering as a shared experience.
Gold Pottery and Bitter Humor: The Creative Response to Suffering
When life gives you the blues, use them to paint a beautiful sky. Art provides alternative ways to understand and overcome suffering. Take Ludwig van Beethoven who composed “Fate’s Symphony” despite struggling with increasing deafness as a testimony to his love of music, “The Scream” was painted by Edward Munch while struggling with terrible mental illnesses. Not only can art relieve suffering and mental angst, but also become an expression of beauty and messenger of a cause. In the last century, wherein Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind" and Pablo Picasso’s "Guernica" (1937) became symbols of anti-war sentiment, Hip-hop’s ‘Rapper’s delight’ popularized African-American artists in the mainstream. “Kintsugi” is the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold as a metaphor for accepting one’s imperfections. Tibetans have a tradition of creating circular geometric patterns called ‘Mandalas’ as a meditative practice and the Chinese have “Shu Fa” a traditional calligraphy practice emphasizing mindfulness and stillness. No wonder art therapy is also popular in the West. So next time you are down, pick up a paintbrush, write a song or rap around, you might create a new masterpiece…or might impress your therapist.
A good laugh is always appreciated, however, as people age, they smile and laugh less often. The silent film legend Charlie Chaplin once remarked: “To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it!” Across the world, humor is as ubiquitous as pain. From the bitter British comedy to the “oyaji gyagu” (subtle puns) of Japan, humor is said to not only decrease negative emotions but also facilitate healing from chronic pain as well. And talking about physical fitness, whereas the East is about flowing like water with practices like Yoga, Tai Chi, and Qigong focusing on controlled movements, breathwork, and mind-body connection, the West has running, cycling, or organized sports aimed at aesthetics, performance, and competition. Despite the focus on different aspects of our bodies and minds, these exercises have proved to increase positive neurotransmitters like GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) and endorphins that chase away pain and depression and calm the mind. The answer to suffering not only lies with religion and philosophy, but also with art, humor and exercise.
Conclusion
Even though life asked us the same question in our struggles - how do you deal with the pain - we all answered differently. Whether we find solace in serving society or in fulfilling personal responsibilities, in expressing ourselves in art or introspecting in deep meditation, in the end, the different paths we choose to walk meet the universal truth that suffering demands a response, and the beauty lies in how uniquely human those responses can be.
Ejaz Shaikh
